The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday 2 April 2013

Is Iain Duncan Smith A "Stunt"?

Iain Duncan Smith, described by his closest friends as "a smug, self-satisfied and arrogant moron with no redeeming features", has today described a petition to make him prove that he can live on £53 per week as a "stunt". Claiming that he had once had to live on unemployment benefit, he conveniently forgot to add that he had already married his wife Betsy at the time and that she just happened to be an heiress and the eldest daughter of the 5th Baron Cottesloe of Swanbourne and Harwick. Nor did he mention that she was paid a suspiciously large amount of money from the public purse as his "Diary Secretary" while he was leader of the Tory Party. He now lives in a £2 million mansion in Buckinghamshire given to him by his father-in-law, earns £134,565 a year and drives a morgan worth £80,000. A dedicated scrounger who has lived off the public purse for most of his working life and is not above a little larceny when he can get away with it, this freeloader is now taking great delight in making poor people even poorer while he boasts endlessly about his Christian principles. In other words he's a typical Tory.

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