The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday 31 March 2013

Ian Duncan Smith: Britain's Greatest Shirker.

Ian Duncan Smith, Britain's most evil politician, has today finally admitted that he is also the world's most useless Tory. Having over-promised on his scheme to make the unemployed, vulnerable and disabled as miserable as he can, he has now had to admit that he can't actually deliver his fellow Tories wettest of wet dreams. He can create a true underclass in the country by cutting off the poor from the money economy and forcing them to use tokens at Asda. He can have the disabled vilified in the press and assaulted in the streets. He can humiliate the unemployed. He can attack the vulnerable. But he can't deliver his much vaunted scheme for a single benefit system and he can't cut the welfare bill so he and his rich mates don't have to pay tax. While 4,000 people queued today for the chance of a low paid job at a new supermarket site, Britain's biggest and best shirker stands revealed as the utter waste of space he's always been. Boastful, arrogant and completely without any charity in his vicious little black soul, IDS is also incapable of doing the job he was given by the similarly useless David Cameron. What the Tories don't seem to understand is that their nasty little schemes, intended to create the sort of economy and society they lust after, is totally, completely and utterly unworkable. It asssumes that the country must be led by them as a natural elite, while the rest of us dutifully do as we are told. Britain, however, is a joint enterprise and can only work to its maximum capacity when we all have a stake in its success. We've tried over the last 30 years to do what the Tories want and it has delivered only a disastrous inequality and economic stagnation. The time has come now for the second sober thought - and thinking was never the Tory's strongest suite.

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