The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 24 October 2012

Lord Bichard Calls For Exploitation Of OAP's

Lord Bichard, another Tory peer who has never done a real days work in his life, has called for old age pensioners to be forced into unpaid work so that he and his rich mates can have yet another tax cut. Having spent a lifetime in the Civil Service and avoiding a real job, Lord Bichard was rewarded by his fellow state scroungers with a seat in the House of Lords and a gong to impress his mates at his London club. Pensioners should be made to look after even older pensioners, the smug, self-satisfied benefit scrounger suggested, so that the government could divest itself of the responsibility and reward itself for doing nothing whatsoever. "Are there ways in which we could use incentives to encourage older people, if not to be in full time work, to be making a contribution?," he asked a parliamentary committee investigating a way to make themselves even richer than they are now. The answer, of course, is that there are certain sections of our society who are freeloading off the rest of us and who have no intention of contributing to our society. Unfortunately many of them are politicians and far, far too many of them sit in the House of Lords. The "News in Shorts" would like to propose a scheme whereby Peers should be given a low-visibility donkey jacket, a shovel and a bucket of tar and sent wandering up the M1 at night to fill in potholes. Now that would be an efficient use of resources.

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