The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 24 August 2012

Prince Harry Naked Under His Clothes!

The whole world is reeling today from the news that, under his clothes, Prince Harry is completely naked. It is now widely supposed that the rest of the Royal Family are also similarly starkers. The "Sun" has printed a photograph of Harry in the buff quoting "the freedom of the press" as their major concern, while various security experts, moralises and professional Royal watchers have trotted through the TV studious to give their opinion. What is clear, however, is that the main area of concern is for Prince Harry's todger. Is it his personal property or, as some would seem to suggest, does he merely hold it in trust for the nation? The idea that he might be spilling his precious seed in or around a collection of breathless bimbos who find him irresistable, for whatever reason, seems to have shocked the nation. The incident occurred in Las Vegas, the cultural centre of the United States, and does pose a particularly worrisome problem. What if one of those American young ladies, seen cavorting naked in his hotel room, managed to snag the Royal todger and became pregnant? An American pretender to the throne, even if illegitimate, is too terrible to contemplate for many in Britain with a Medieval caste of mind. Could we one day wake up to find ourselves ruled by a King Chuck or a King Billy-Bob and is that any worse than being ruled by King William Saxe-Coburg-Gotha?

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