The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday 11 June 2012

George Osborne Denies "Vast Conspiracy."

George Osborne told the Leveson Enquiry today that there was no "vast conspiracy" to hand BSkyB to Rupert Murdoch and denied that he had any idea what either Jeremy Hunt or David Cameron thought about it all. "It wasn't a vast conspiracy," he said. "In fact it was a small grubby one. I really don't understand why people believe that members of the same government ever speak to each other. Its not as if we've anything in common or anything worth talking about. When we fell into government by accident we had one meeting in which we decided to grab as much for ourselves and screw the peasants and that was it. Policy decided, job done. As for Andy Coulson we asked him if he was guilty of anything, he said "no" and, in the light of such overwhelming evidence, we gave him the job. Who would believe that a man who would hack a dead girl's mobile and commit perjury would also prove to be a liar? When it came to my various meetings with the Murdoch's we never talked about anything that was interesting or important. In fact both Rupert and James Murdoch were incredibly dull people who seemed to have no interest in anything at all. As you've seen they weren't even interested in their own business interests and rarely had even a vague notion of what was going on. They would have made brilliant Tory politicians to be honest."

No comments:

Post a Comment