The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 3 February 2012

Another Two-Faced Politician Fibs His Way Out Of A Job.


Chris Huhne, the LibDem Minister For Putting Up Energy Prices And Ignoring Climate Change, has been forced to resign after being charged with perverting the course of justice. Mr Huhne, pictured above demonstrating why he claims for ballet lessons, regularly also claims for such items as chocolate hobnobs, tea and even the rope for a swing despite being a millionaire and owning seven properties in Britain and two abroad. Recently found to have been bonking one of his "advisors" his wife immediately accused him of avoiding paying speeding fines by getting her to take the blame. We asked Mr.Huhne for a comment; "This is disgraceful. I should have been able to get away with this. What's the point of being a cabinet minister if you can't lie and cheat with impunity? I'll have to get you lot to buy me another packet of hobnobs tonight so I don't get too depressed. I can't imagine why my ex-wife has done this - after all screwing an advisor is no worse than screwing the electorate" We asked our political editor for his view as to the significance of this; "Significance? Not a lot really. He's a politician and an ex-banker so, by nature, is a thieving git with all the moral certitude of a teenager with a hard on. Even his own wife can't trust him."

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