The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday 10 January 2012

Tories Stumble From Disaster To Disaster.


The pigeons are coming home to roost as the essential incompetence and stupidity of the Tories is revealed at an increasing pace. As the economy remains in the doldrums, spending, despite all the hype about cuts, continues to spiral, David Cameron continues to exercise "bad judgement" over his choice of advisors and the Coalition looks ready to split over Europe. The "employment boosting measure" that gives new start up businesses a National Insurance holiday has flopped badly with less than 10,000 new firms taking up the offer out of a suggested 400,000. Meanwhile James O'Shaugnessy, until recently Cameron's director of policy, has broken the rules by taking a job as a lobbyist and neglecting to tell the Parliamentary Advisory Committee on Business Appointments. Then, to cap it all, Nick Clegg has finally discovered the truth about Cameron's famous European veto and politely pointed out to the Prime Minister that Europe will go ahead with its plans whether Britain agrees or not. The government, not to put too fine a point on it, is a shambles. Nothing it does actually works in the way advertised, none of its policies are helping the economy, the catalogue of u-turns and "bad judgements" continues to rack up and the essential discontinuity between the Coalition partners is increasingly evident. We asked a Tory party spokesperson for his view; "That might all be true - indeed it is - but you've missed the fundamental point of Tory policy. We are here to privatise the NHS and remove it, once and for all, from the political landscape and to punish the working class in this country for failing to vote Tory when they're told. Once we've wreeked vengeance on all those we hate - working people, unions, teachers, social workers, nurses, doctors, widows, the unemployed and the disabled - we'll slink off again, pretend to change our ways and wait for the electorate to forget what vicious small-minded people we are. We've been doing it for nearly two hundred years now and its always worked like a charm. You people really do need to learn the difference between incompetence and sheer vindictiveness."

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