The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday 29 January 2012

Tories Still Having Difficulty In Understanding The Word "Veto."


Ian Duncan Smith, having taken a lead in the "Two-Faced Tory of the Year" award, is now making a bid for the "Have No Understanding of the Term Veto" award. In the wake of David Cameron's refusal to sign up to a new European treaty many in the cabinet seemed eager to enter the contest but came under intense competition from BBC commentators and the Tory press. The BBC seemed to be on course for scooping this prestigious award until today when IDS suddenly made a last minute bid. "I trust David to stop the other members from using EU institutions without our permission in the light of our veto," he told the BBC. David Cameron immediately went on the offensive during an interview on Radio 4 when he told the inetrviewer that he would "do everything possible" to stop the other members discussing the single market without us. "I have already been practising bouncing up and down in my seat and shouting "lah, lah, lah" as loudly as possible and I've warned them not to talk behind my back or come to any agreement that I don't approve of." We asked an EU spokesperson for the European reaction; "Le tosspot."

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