The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday 26 January 2012

Non-Existant Petrol Shortage Raises Pump Prices.



The closure of Coryton oil refinery in Essex has prompted a rise in prices at the pumps simply because petrol station operators have rushed to cash in on a ficticious "shortage" of petrol. Coryton supplied only 20% of the petrol used in a confined area of the country - the south east - and its closure simply means that other refineries will find themselves with more business. We asked a leading supermarket supplier for their view; "As soon as we saw the news we knew this was our chance to pick the pockets of our customers once again. All of our filling stations have bloody great tanks full of petrol under them and one refinery closing doesn't mean that petrol will suddenly disappear - we've got enough already to last us weeks. Of course your ordinary motorist doesn't realise this which makes him a prime target for a scam like this one. You wait 'till war breaks out with Iran - we'll have petrol selling at £20 a litre in no time even though we don't actually buy oil from them. To be honest I wish the likes of BP would stop swanning around the world finding entirely new oil fields - it makes selling the idea of shortages much harder."

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