The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 18 January 2012

Gove's Bible Project Remains East Of Eden.


Michael Gove's project to provide every school in Britain with a copy of the King James Bible by Easter has run into a bit of bother it seems. They have been stranded, apparently, somewhere east of Eden, which, for those of you who have never read the Bible, is the Land of Nod. Thousands of copies are being stored in a foreign warehouse because the swivel-eyed Minister for Underming Teacher's Morale can't find a private sponsor for the scheme. Downing Street had indicated that no public money would be available for this eccentric idea but has now indicated that the books will be delivered even if no sponsor is forthcoming. The whole sorry saga begs a few questions nontheless. First, what on Earth persuaded Gove that the country needs more bibles considering the widespread lack of interest in religion amongst the British? Second, why was it not possible to find either a printer or warehousing in Britain? Third, given the lack of a sponsor, where has the estimated £400,000 for this harebrained scheme suddenly appeared from? We asked Michael Gove for his view; "I feel that children in this country, especially those who espouse other pagan religions, could do with a good dose of fire and brimstone set out in 17th century English. Everyone knows that printing in India or China is cheaper than in Britain where wages remain far too high and the necessary levels of poverty amongst the working class have yet to be achieved. As to the money -the Prime Minister has indicated that £400 grand represents good value for money if it avoids embarassing the government and showing us up for the dingbats we actually are."

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