The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 28 December 2011

Tories Revealed As Insane Bigots.


A poll in todays "Independent" shows quite conclusively that the Tory party rank and file are not only bigotted but entirely insane. 54% of those polled want to leave the EU entirely, thus turning their backs on 40% of Britain's trade and rely instead on trade within a non-existent Empire. A staggering 92% approve of Cameron using the veto in Europe, blithely ignoring the fact that refusing to sign up to something does not constitute a "veto." Asked about their political convictions and who best represents them Margaret Thatcher and Boris Johnson, both clinically insane, topped the list. A vast majority approved of an economy flattened for no better reason that the exercise of ideology and thought that mass unemployment was good as long as it didn't mean they personally lost their jobs. We asked a Tory party supporter for his view; "I just wish that Margaret Thatcher was still alive, but Boris would make an acceptable second best. He too is completely stupid, has no idea how a national economy actually works and hates all foreigners. I do admire how David Cameron was able to redefine the meaning of the word "veto" and fully support his action or non-action in Europe, whatever the case might be. I also approve of him destroying the British economy in order to save it and believe that unemployment is a price worth paying as long as I don't have to pay it."

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