The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 21 December 2011

Tories Line Up To Kill Off Cameron Premiership


Peter Bone, the Tory Gaulieter for Wellinborough and Rushden, has today questioned the line of succession if David Cameron were to suddenly die or suffer a terrible mishap while in office. Bone, a member of the right wing 1922 Committee and known for hating fellow Tories almost as much as the rest of the country, told the BBC; "We need to know what would happen if David Cameron were to suffer a terrible accident such as being stabbed in the back several times. Does Nick Clegg being Deputy Lacky mean that he would lead the so-called Coalition? I would like to think not. If Cameron were to become incapacitated by a sudden vote of no confidence we would need another Tory - say me - to lead the government. It is vitally important that terrorists and, more importantly, the banks should know which self-satisfied, smug millionaire is in charge if the worst should happen. No PM has died while in power for 150 years, but you never know your luck and self-absorbtion is the Tory way."

No comments:

Post a Comment