The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday 27 December 2011

Russia Experinces The Old Democratic Two Step.


Having banned half the opposition parties in Russia and then cheating in the recent elections Boris Putin, world famous gay icon, has told the Russian people there will be no investigation despite mass protests. "I have looked into this matter and proven, to my own satisfaction, that I've done nothing wrong," he told reporters today. "I don't know what these people are demonstrating about because, apart from wanting real democracy, they don't seem to have any clear aims. I've also recently been cheered up no end by what's been happening in the rest of Europe, where the banks and politicians have shown us all the real nature of democracy. Let's face it, cheating or not, I'll probably still get more votes than David Cameron did and look at him. Like all democracies across the world we allow people to have a vote every now and again and, in return, we expect them to do as they're told. What's wrong with that?"

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