The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 14 December 2011

Older People Need Protection Against The Banks.


Old people with dementia are being targeted by unscrupulous business, including banks, its been revealed today. It is estimated that at least 15% of people with dementia have been abused financially - some of them by banks. The Alzheimer's Society has responded by putting together a training package for the banks. We asked a leading banker for his reaction to this; "We don't need any further training thank you. We already know how to rip of the elderly and demented - how do you think we fund our obscene bonuses every year? Look, its not our fault if some of our customers are mentally challenged. We offer them a very good service, relieving them of their money at a time in life when they don't have much need for it. Most of them are no more mentally challenged than your everage politician and you wouldn't expect us to not to take them for a ride now would you? Telephone cold calling is an especially lucrative line of business that provides a great deal of youth employment in India where people are so poor they'll do the jobs that British youngsters just can't stomach. Why, we're practically a charity."

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