Concern has grown that the Tory party has been replaced by Hollywood actors in a CIA plot. We asked a Tory insider for his view; "We had no choice. No one would believe that we we were being sincere during the election campaign so we replaced the whole lot with actors who could fake sincerity. After that it got out of control and we found that no one in the party could talk to the electorate with a straight face - they would collapse in fits of giggles. We wanted to replace Nick Clegg with Harpo Marx - you know, the one who never speaks - but Harpo is dead and so is Nick's career. Please don't release this story - it might upset the banks again."
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