The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 2 December 2011

Ian Duncan Smith Believes All Poor People Are Drug And Gambling Addicts.


Ian Dincan Smith, pictured above, has said today that giving benefits to poor families is pointless because they will waste it on drugs and gambling. We asked this dangerous lunatic why he would say such a thing; "I have met only two poor people in my life. One was a gambling addict and the other was a drug addict, therefore all poor people are either drug addicts or gambling addicts. The Tory party has pledged to stamp out poverty in this country and we've taken the principled stand that the best way to do this is to stamp out the poor. Unable the build gas chambers to slaughter them in a humane way because of human rights legislation we have no choice but to starve them to death. The money saved can then be diverted into more deserving things such as my pension and a new Jaguar so I can speed past the starving masses."

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