The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 9 December 2011

City Of London Has A Tantrum.


In the wake of David Cameron's complete falure to do the right thing in Europe, the EU is now set to put the City of London in its place. We asked a City spokesman for the bankers view; "Its not fair. All we've done is try to do what is best for Britain - bring down the entire western economic system and divert all the money in the world into our pockets - and Europe flatly refuses to go along with it. Now these madmen are going to tax us for God's sake. Don't they understand that we don't pay taxes? Why don't they do what we want and just hand over taxpayers money to us so that we can do whatever we like?" We asked a Tory spokesperson for the party view; "This is a triumph for our party and for the City of London which will both now be marginalised and ignored in Europe. We have managed to protect our national interest in being almost completely irrelevant and being relegated to the sidelines. I could cry with sheer joy."

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