The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday 6 December 2011

Cameron Moves To Defend Unregulated Finance Market.


David Cameron has stated today that he will not sign a new European Treaty if it doesn't safeguard the greedy and insane financiers in London. We asked a European Commission spokesperson what this might mean; "We knew that the Prime Minister would refuse to sign a new treaty because to do so would trigger a referendum in Britain. Not only would he lose such a referendum, he would split the Tories from top to bottom. Ergo he can't sign it. The answer, of course, is that we won't ask him to sign it. If he and Britain don't like it they can take a hike. As for defending the London financial market from regulation that's not in his gift. If we want to make it impossible for them to operate in Europe without safeguards we can and will. The only people who still trust those greedy economic morons are the Tories. He tries to make it sound as if he's defending Britain's interests but he's only defending the idiots who started this unholy mess in the first place. If I were British, and thank God I'm not, I'd want to see that dope out of work. Still that's your problem - good luck with that."

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