The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday 12 December 2011

57% Of People In Britain Haven't Got A Clue.


A new poll in the "Times" today seems to indicate that 57% of the British public approve of Cameron's European "veto." We asked a Tory party spokesperson for his reaction; "Marvelous isn't it? No matter how much punishment we inflict on the peasants and no matter how many lies we tell them, they still agree with us. They approve of a veto that was never used, for reasons that never existed by a leader that cares only for his party and couldn't give a damn for his country and they still approve! It just goes to show all you need to do is sprout rubbish about "bureaucrats in Brussels" or Germans trying to take over the continent and the great British unwashed are putty in your hands. Its what we've always believed - the British public are just too thick to understand what we're up to. Give them a girl flashing her tits on page three, or a football match played by a bunch of multi-millionaires and they're happy."

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