The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 23 November 2011

Tories Burn Obama In Effigy.


Young Tories at the University of St.Andrews have burned an effigy of the President of the United States, Barak Obama. "There is no question," a Tory spokesperson told our reporter, "that this was a racist attack. They burned the effigy because, in common with most Tories, they are mindless Hooray Henry's with all the childish spite that is common to their class." We asked a representative of the US Embassy for their view; "We've come to expect this kind of behaviour in Britain to be honest. The President has always believed that David Cameron and his Tory cabinet are a bunch of lightweights and, given their backgrounds, that is hardly surprising. They know nothing, have no real experience of life and seem to believe that prejudice is a philosophy of life. They also seem to inhabit an imaginary time frame set somewhere in the 19th century and have all the diplomatic skills of Attila the Hun. Apart from that they remain our staunch allies and we are working hard to maintain the "special relationship."

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