The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday 17 November 2011

"Government Makes Loss" On Sale Of Northern Rock.


Northern Rock, pictured above with a few of its real owners, has been described by BBC in terms of the Government making a loss on its sale to Virgin Money. We asked George Osborne what that means exactly; "Well we've flogged it off to Sir Richard Branson for £747 million losing about £650 million in the process. Take the 650 MP's at Westminster at that comes out at £1 million each. No, only joking. When we say "the Government" we of course mean you. This is a good deal for both Sir Dick and for the Tory party which expects to trouser a great deal of the money in a creative accounting exercise that is perfectly legal - or it will be when we change the law. Some of the money will also come in handy for tax cuts for the wealthy and funding the privatisation of the NHS. Just for good measure we've retained Northern Rock Asset Management, where the £21 billion of bad debt is kept, in public owndership. Its a crappy deal for the taxpayer but, heyho, who cares? That's what the peasants are for - exploitation."

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