The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Saturday 5 November 2011

Ed Milliband Notices Protestors.


Ed Milliband, pictured above with Andy Burnham, has today voiced his concern over the protestors occupying St Paul's. "These people cannot simply be ignored," he told our reporter, "especially when you trip over one of their bleeding tents. I might be wrong but I have a feeling that the protest means something. I've asked my colleagues and they agree. We believe that they are protesting about the inequality that a mismanaged capitalism is causing across the world. I too have had vague feelings that something might be wrong but I can't put my finger on it at the moment. Ed Balls suggested that I ask them but I'm a bit worried about adverse publicity and accusations that I might have socialist leanings. Anyway I'm not too sure if people voicing their opinion has any place in a modern democracy. I think that people should only protest in a non-threatening and inefectual way in order to avoid any inconvenience to politicians and business."

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