The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday 20 November 2011

CBI Warns That The British Economy Is "In A Bad Place."


The Director General of the CBI, John Cridland pictured above, as described the British economy as being "in a bad place, with confidence evaporating." But he doesn't blame the government for it; "Throwing everyone out of work makes little difference to the British economy. What we need is to encourage business investment so that exports can be increased. This might inadvertently lead to an increase in employment but that can't be helped. In any case that can be offset by abolishing the minimum wage and workers rights. The point is that we must manufacture more expensive goods that British people can't afford and flog them to Johnnie Foreigner. The best thing that the government can do at the moment is to build more toll roads. That will fill business men's pockets, get more money for the government to claim as "expenses" and scam ordinary road users all at the same time. A tax cut for people like me would be nice as well."

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