The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 18 November 2011

Cameron Tries To Do A Churchill.


With the hot and eager help of newspaper such as the "Daily Mail," David Cameron has set off for Europe determined to do battle against the evil designs of Germany. Angela Merkel, they would have us believe, is a new Hitler while our brave PM is a new Churchill. The truth is there is no new Hitler and Cameron is more like Neville Chamberlain than Churchill - except that Cameron has surrendered to the banks rather than facism. We asked our German correspondent for his comments; "Ach, mein Gott! What is wrong with you people? Everything with you is about the war or towels on sunloungers. You are lucky that we Germans have such forgiving natures and a developed sense of humour. The reason why a Tobin tax would fall unequally on London is because British governments sold their souls to the banks, like Faust but without the music. Now, when your complete failure to regulate them has brought the entire world economy to its knees, you bleat that its "unfair." It was "unfair" when you were trousering billions at everyone else's expense by refusing to regulate in order to attract as many banking bandits to your country as possible. Democracy in Britain has been missing for many years and now you've managed to bring it to its knees in the rest of Europe as well. Congratulations - if anyone could be accused of being a new Hitler it's Cameron not Angela Merkel."

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