The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 19 October 2011

Tories Have Yet Another Good Day

The Tory party has had yet another good day demonstrating what they actually think of voters and indulging in their favourite pastimes - taking bribes from lobbyists and giving the banks as much of our money as they can. They started out in rare form with a Tory Councillor, Brian Coleman, virtually telling an unemployed and desperate constituent, Ms. Osman, to bugger off. She was asking for advice about her private apartment on which the rent had been raised from £950 to £1,100 per month. He told her to "live in the real world" and that she would have to sort her own problems out rarher than rely on "the system." He then informed her that "this correspondence is closed." Brian Coleman earns £120,000 a year in public money - how's that for "relying on the system?" Not content with that the Tories have now decided to shoot themselves in the other foot after it was revealed that yet another minister, Greg Barker, has a "special advisor" with no official standing whatsoever but who seems to have access to his ministry. The advisor, Mirian Maes, also seems to have two seperate identities and has held over 30 directorships at the same time for various companies. Finally, police in Staffordshire have been told to arrest less people to save money and it is expected that other police forces will soon be following suite. This, apparently, is what Tories mean when they say "frontline services will not be affected." We asked a Tory insider for the government view; "People have to realise that the government is not here to serve their interests but to serve the interests of business. And when we say business we mean anyone that can bribe us with enough money for various "favours." Rules only apply to us when they're convenient and, as for the police, crime is no concern to us since we're unlikely to ever suffer from it. But don't forget - we're all in this together."

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