Tories Bedroom Controversy.

Tory plans to maximise the use of bedrooms in Britain has run into the buffers as arguments rage in the party as to the exact nature of bedrooms. "I believe that any room with a bed in it is a bedroom," a Tory spokesperson told our reporter. "The problem arises when stupid council tenants put divans in their sitting rooms. We are now contemplating banning the use of divans or declaring all rooms in council properties to be bedrooms. There is a case for this since people do sometimes fall asleep sitting on the loo or on kitchen floors after a typical working-class bout of binge drinking. There's been a real sticking point on whether a bedroom has to have a window in it and whether a skylight or dormer window actually constitutes a "window" as such. Then there's the problem of people living in cardboard boxes - do there constitute a bedsit or a single bedroom? Personally I think they are bedsits and, therefore, can accomodate more than one person. Unfortunately shop doorways don't count since they don't have windows - except for those looking in which don't count. Mind you come to think of it....."