The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 14 October 2011

New York Mayor Decides Not To Destroy Democracy After All.

A plan to "clean" Zuccotti Park and effectively evict the "Occupy Wall Street" protestors has been scrapped after it emerged that the United States is still a democracy after all. We asked the Deputy Mayor of New York, Cas Holloway, for his comments; "Ok, we still live in a democracy and these people are merely exercising their constitutional right to peaceful assembly, but that's not the point is it? The rest of the United States might be democratic but Wall Street isn't and they have a God-given right to do whatever they please - even normal laws don't apply to them. So we've got a bit of an impasse situation ongoing so to speak. This democracy thing is becoming a bit inconvenient and we're all hoping that the Supreme Court might find some way to abolish it before it gets out of control. Personally I don't mind people choosing between competing millionaires in elections, but looking to influence policy? That's going too far. Americans didn't fight the War of Independence, the Civil War and World War II just to end up with representative government."

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