The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 26 October 2011

My Name Is Mervyn King - I Don't Know Why But There It Is.


Mervyn King, pictured above cooking the books, has suggested bribing the banks to get them to cooperate and do the job they're supposed to do. "We could put money into ordinary people's pockets to stimulate the economy," he told our reporter, "but that would be socialism. So, instead, I propose to bribe the banks with more taxpayers money to "encourge" them to do what they're supposed to do. Now I understand perfectly well that the banks will trouser the money without lifting a finger to help the wider economy, but I can't see what else we can do. At least that will give the impression to a practically unconscious public that we're doing something."

(Please Note That Only Those Over The Age Of 50 Will Understand The "Harry Worth" Connection.)

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