The News In Shorts

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Friday 21 October 2011

Lords Very Concerned About Laws Of Succession.

The House of Lords, having disposed of the NHS, have now turned to a new question of burning moment. Should their female progeny be allowed to inherit titles instead of their eldest sons? "This is an urgent matter," Lord Snooty told our reporter, "and goes to the heart of modern politics in Britain. Wether my daughter or son inherits my title is of vital importance to the country. People like to know that they are being ruled by a master and not by a mistress - though I personally love being ruled by my mistress. If the law is changed there will lots of disappointed sons out there who happen to have older sisters and, of course, many of these sons have borrowed large amounts of money against their inheritance. If they don't inherit they might have to get jobs to pay of their debts and that would never do. My own family fortune was founded on a protection racket established during the Middle Ages by a male ancestor who had a sword and a horse. God know's what would have happened if that ancestor had been a woman - there's not much glory in grabbing a fortune flat on your back is there? But the most important point is that changing the law would bring the Middle Ages to an end and that might signal the end of the Lords. That must be avoided at all costs."

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