The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday 11 October 2011

Goldman Sachs Steal More British Taxpayers Money.

Last December, it turns out, Goldman Sachs was allowed to walk off with £10 miilion of taxpayers money after failing to pull off a tax scam. Under investigation by HM's Revenue and Customs they were forgiven the £10 million in a secret deal with the permanent secretary of the HMRC, Dave Hartnett. The permanent secretary then lied to parliament by telling them it would be "illegal" to tell the Public Accounts Committee about the case. We asked a Westminster insider what was going on; "Oh, just business as usual. Goldman Sachs paid a bunch of British employees obscene amounts of money in bonuses and then tried o pretend that these people actually worked for the British Virgin Islands so the company didn't have to pay National Insurance. They tried to fiddle £40 million but Hartnett let them off with a payment of £30 million because it was only their twentieth offence." We asked why the permanent secretary would do such a thing; "Like I said, old boy, business as usual, nod, nod, wink, wink." We asked Dave Hartnett for his comments; "It was all a silly mistake. A junior member of HMRC, who cannot be named for illegal reasons, made a technical error and this led me to give away £10 million by accident. My wife and I often laugh about this when we're holidaying on our private yacht. You have to laugh don't you?"

No comments:

Post a Comment