The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 14 October 2011

Civil War Reaches New Intensity.

The heads of state from across the western world and beyond are meeting in Paris today in a desperate attempt to mount a counter-offensive against the rebellious financial industry and bring the dangerous game of "pass the parcel" to an end. "The conflict has now reached a new intensity," a spokesperson for the G20 told our reporter. "Heads of state are meeting to try and give the impression that they are still in charge but they are clearly losing the war as banks continue to couter-attack with vicious and sustained credit downgrades. Governments have used every weapon in their arsenal now - propaganda, bribery, pauperising their own constituents and burying their heads in the sand - but nothing seems to work. Meanwhile the banking industry have deployed their big guns - a sustained and deadly sulk with a highly successful propaganda campaign consisting of putting their hands in their pockets, whistling and pretending none of this has anything to do with them. Of course governments can deploy the ultimate weapon - nationalisation - but understand that would wipe out all political life on the face of the earth. The planet is now at a crossroads with the fiction of democracy locked into a deadly battle with the fiction of capitalism and with both sides threatening to kill off the other if needs be. Of course it would be a lot worse if ordinary people ever realise what's actually going on. Then the shit will really hit the fan."

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