The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 12 October 2011

BBC Make Plans To Ignore Protests In London.

"Occupy Wall Street," which the BBC have successfully ignored for 25 days in a row, has spread to London and handed the Corporation a real headache. "This is going to be a problem," a BBC spokesperson told our reporter. "We've managed to ignore the protests in New York while still reporting on those in Syria without much fuss, but London for Christ's sake! How are we going to ignore that? We've looked at the problem from all angles and can't find a way past all those commuters passing by without them noticing something. We asked Boris Johnson if he could have all bus and taxi windows blacked out but he said it wasn't practical. All we can do is appeal for everyone to keep their eyes closed when passing the Stock Exchange - we certainly will." We asked an unnamed Government Minister for her reaction; "This is nothing less than criminality on the part of people who don't like having to pay billions to support needy criminal organizations such as the banks. I urge everyone to stay home during the demonstrations - especially the BBC - or close their eyes, put their hands over their ears and run past the demonstration as quickly as possible shouting "lah, lah, lah." Have you heard the one about the cat and the illegal immigrant?"

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