The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday 20 September 2011

William Hagues Fails to Answer Any Questions on the Economy.

William Hague, interviewed today about the economy by the BBC, resolutely refused to answer any questions put to him and continued the usual politican's trick of answering the question he wished he'd been asked. When questioned as to why Britain's economic performance was so poor in comparison to other major countries, he replied; "Well of course our economic figures are similar to others, Bangladesh and Burnundi spring to mind, and we are valiantly battling against the huge deficit left to us by the last Labour government." Asked why forecasts of GDP for Britain had fallen from 1.7% to 1.1%, he answered; "We inherited a huge deficit from the last Labour government, as I may have mentioned before, and this was almost entirely responsible for the cuts in services we have reluctantly inflicted on the peasants in this country. The fall in GDP is a complete coincidence and has nothing to do with our economic policy or, as we Tories like to term it, the revenge." Having made no discernable progress with this line of questioning the BBC interviewer craftily asked a question about Libya. "Well of course," William Hague replied, "we inherited a huge deficit from the last Labour government, as I may have said before, and this was entirely responsible for Colonel Ghadafi/Gadaffi/Gaddafi/Quadafi or Whatever being an absolute git for the last 42 years."

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