The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday 11 September 2011

Tory Assualt on Pensions.

On the BBC today Ian Duncan Smith told Andrew Marr that the people who do all the work in this country are retiring too early to keep bone idle people like him in luxury. "We've always said that Labour's timetable for raising pension age for the peasants is too slow. If it goes on like this I won't be able to retire to my country estate in France for at least another two years. Rich people like me who dodge paying taxes can't afford to sibsidise people in this country simply because they've worked hard all their lives and paid their taxes and national insurance. If it wasn't for my expense account I don't know how I'd be able to afford to lay down a decent wine cellar for my great grandchildren." David Cameron fully supported his Minister for Putting People Out of Work; "Ian is quite right - the timetable is far too slow. At this rate we won't get retirement age up to 90 for ordinary people before the end of this Parliament." George Osbourne, returning from his triumphant tour of northern comedy clubs, told the "News in Shorts.";  "There is no alternative - last Labour government and all that - competiveness on world markets etc. etc. You get the picture. Then there's the question of idle pensioners hanging around street corners wearing hoods and causing trouble. We have to get back to good old fashioned principles - work houses and suchlike."

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