Mragaret Tahtcher Seen in Public (Though Not In Daylight).

Margaret Thatcher, legendary hero of the "mad as a bag of snakes" tendency in the Tory party, has made a rare appearance in public. Attending Liam Fox's 50th birthday party, presumably to lend support to his "let's conquer the world with a penknife" policy, the most famous mad person to live at No.10 looked frail, confused and wierdly threatening. "It's great to see her still up and about, despite all attempts to bury her," Liam Fox told our reporter. "We should be proud that she helped to lay the foundations for the present success in terms of the world economy." Other commentators, not driven completely insane by greed and selfishness, are more ambivalent in their assessment of her legacy. One leading economist told "The News in Shorts"; "That women landed us all with what George Bush Snr once called "voodoo economics" - the idea that making rich people richer would, in some unfathomable way, benefit everyone. The greedy and selfish have been banging that drum ever since, insisting that we free them to do what ever they like on the basis that being rich makes you a superior human being. So far all they've managed to demonstrate is that they are dismally stupid, remorselessly greedy and so self-centred they'd kill the whole world for an extra quid." Political commentators were even more ambivalent if anything; "She's often held up as an example of "strong leadership," one political analyst told us, "but so was Caligula. Why would any sane person follow a "strong leader" in entirely the wrong direction for decades on end just because they're "strong? To be honest she is the very embodiment of modern Toryism - irrelevant, insane, vicious and completely incoherent."