Milliband's Speech Rejected by Fatcats.

Ed Milliband's speech before the Labour party conference has met with almost universal rejection by those with a vested interest in keeping things as they are. "He was playing to the Union gallery," Lord Digby Jones informed us. "Everyone knows that our present economic woes are all due to the unions whose constant striking has brought the country to wrack and ruin." Asked if he wasn't talking about the 1970's and 80's rather than today Lord Dig became dewey eyed. "Ah, the 70's and 80's - now there were a couple of decades when we knew where we were and the blessed Margaret led a crusade against the evil working classes." Leaving him hugging himself with a blissful expression on his face, we asked other businessmen what they thought of the speech. "How dare he draw attention to the predatory nature of asset strippers," one asset stripper told us. "Just because we buy businesses for next to nothing, flog off everything we can get our hands on and then throw everyone out of work, there's no need to be nasty. We provide a valuable service. Look at Rover. If it wasn't for people like me we'd still have a car industry in this country acting as a drag on more up to date industries like staff agencies. At this rate we'll never reach the promised land of day labourers begging for work at the factory gates." David Cameron was also quick to criticise Milliband. "He's in the pocket of an evil vested interest - the Unions - who only want to see a return to the horror of full employment. We, on the other hand, are in the pocket of a virtuous vested interest - the banks - who only want to steal everyone's money for their own good."