Libya More Expensive Than Government Would Like You To Know About.

Government estimates that the Libyan conflict has cost British taxpayers "around £230 million" has been revealed as more creative accountancy rather than a serious attempt to tell the truth. Defence analysts put the figure closer to £1.75 billion and counting. "We believe that £1.75 billion is a cheap price to pay if it makes David Cameron look more statesman-like on the world stage," a government insider told "The News in Shorts," "Otherwise we'd have those two bloody foreigners, Sarkozy and Berlusconi, swanking about looking important - and we can't have that." Asked why the government can't simply come clean and admit how much has been spent, the unnamed minister told us; "We can't have the great unwashed expressing an opinion on these things, otherwise we'll have trouble next time we want to bomb someone for commercial reasons. Anyway we'd have to explain how the money was spent and that would mean explaining how much we'd siphoned off for ultra-secret "black projects" like cleaning my moat and providing the cabinet with chocolate bars."