IMF Drops Usual Complacency.

In a shock volte face the IMF has described the world economy as being in a "quite dangerous" position. With western countries effectively bankrupt, Greece effectively defaulting on its international debts and the United States being strangled by its own politicians, the IMF has dropped its usual show of complete indifference and sounded a mild warning. "The lack of growth, which by any normal standards would be described as calamatous, is, in our estimation, quite worrying. We hate to use the phrase "double dip recession," especially after denying it for so long, but we feel that actually being in one warrants at least a passing mention. Nor would we like to characterise the British government's totally insane economic policy as "totally insane," even if it is, but would like to say that they might want to reconsider their incomprehensible economic theory in the interests of common sense. We understand the Tory lust for utter destruction and feelings of vengeance against their own citizens, but we urge them to perhaps stimulate their economy even if it is only to get the chance of torturing ordinary people in Britain for a further five years. We would also urge bankers across the world to stop gorging themselves for a minute or two in order to take a well-earned breath. We remain optimistic, despite all the evidence of impending disaster, and sincerely believe that the complete lack of intellectual ability and imagination amongst western politicians will come right in the end."