The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday 26 September 2011

Europe Set to Forgive 50% of Greece's Debt.

The European Bank seems set to forgive 50% of Greece's debt in a bid to stave off complete economic meltdown. "Letting them ditch the Euro is out of the question if half the political leaders in Europe will lose their jobs over it," a spokesperson for the bank told our reporter. "And trying to persuade the Greeks to enslave their own children, as the British have done, isn't going to work. So we've got no choice really. Things would have been a lot easier if the Greek public had simply rolled over and played dead, but they never had the benefit of being led by Margaret Thatcher." In Britian the news was met with mixed feelings. "That's what happens when unions have too much influence and are successful in protecting workers against their own governments," David Cameron told us. "Thank God that's not true in Britain." George Osborne was more relaxed. "We're not in the Euro so we don't have to pay anything and, more importantly, our banks aren't too exposed. RBS is the most exposed, but we can always hand them a few more billion of taxpayers money to protect their bonuses.I agree with David about the unions, however - it sets a bad example for the rest of us."

No comments:

Post a Comment