The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 28 September 2011

Daniel Hannan Calls For Less Regulation on Banks.

Daniel Hannan, Tory MEP for South East England, has blamed the present economic woes in Europe on "too much regualtion" in the banking industry. Hannan, clinically insane from birth, was first elected to the European Parliament in 1999 where he founded the "Mad As A Bag Of Snakes" movement amongst conservative politicians. "It was regulating the banks that caused this problem," he told the BBC in all seriousness. "What we should do now is dismantle all controls on them and rely completely on their proven expertise, sense of fair play and business acumen. As for Greece, they should commit collective suicide immediately for the good of  everyone else in Europe. And when I say "everyone else" I mean the better people like me." "Daniel was raised half way up a mountain in Peru for tax reasons where the rarified atmosphere starved his brain of oxygen," a close friend told us. "But he means well. He hates ordianry working people, thinks that all union members should be publicly garrotted and that Europe should be banned. He's my kind of Tory!"

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