Cameron To Put The "Great" Back in Britain.

David Cameron, the country's first part-time Prime Minister, has decided that the time is right to put the "Great" back in Britain. "This used to be a wonderful country where happy peasants worked in factories and spent their weekends drinking warm beer and playing cricket. Despite the fact that our global economy now demands that manufacturing is not needed, beer has been replaced by alchoholic fruit drinks to encourage underage drinking and cricket is only played by overpaid professionals, Britain can still be great. All that is needed is the will to turn the clock back two hundred years or so and, hey presto, we'll be back in paradise. Imagine a country in which workers have no enforcable rights, in which unions have ceased to exist and where happy workers turn up, cap in hand, to see if they get paid work for the day. Imagine a country where the rich have everything and the poor are just grateful to draw their next breath. Imagine a country in which the dead weight of the NHS is replaced by workhouse infirmaries where the poor can die in dignity knowing that they haven't been a burden to tax avoiders. Imagine a country where bankers can get on with what they do best - stealing money - without forever having to look over their shoulders. Imagine a country where the peasants are uneducated and simply do as they're told because they don't know any better. That is my vision for this country - the way back to the greatness I and my class miss so much." Yes, just imagine.