Cameron Swears to Protect Countryside.

In a passionate speech today David Cameron has pledged to protect the countryside. "As everyone knows I have always kept my promises," he told a hand-picked audience of Tory supporters. "The NHS is already becoming reconciled to its new role as a shop window for the medical insurance and organ harvesting industries. British manufacturing is now flourishing in its new home in China. Unemployment has never been so low since we stopped keeping accurate figures and the economy is booming thanks to the measures we've taken to kick banking reform into the long grass. Justice is now accessible to anyone with the money to pay for it and educational standards are at an all time high as British students give way to foreigners willing to pay through the nose for a degree. I will now promise you all that the British countryside will soon be safe under a protective covering of concrete up to two feet thick."