British Economy Still Sinking Without Trace.

Inflation figures and balance of trade figures out today show conclusively that the British economy is foundering in a stormy sea far from shore. "We set sail of this adventurous course in 1979," David Cameron proudly claimed today. "Our ship may be a rusting old scow rather than the luxury liner Margaret Thatcher promised us and she might have sold all the lifeboats, but the Tory party remains convinced that she was right. If she hadn't have taken a principled stand against organised labour and destroyed the unions we would now be in an awful bind with wealthy peasants swanking around, spending their wages and boasting about low unemployment. The Tory party is rightfully proud that we put a stop to all that and handed over the future to the bunch of anti-democratic bloodsuckers who now run politics, finance and the media. The British voter, in turn, should be proud that he or she remains suicidally stupid despite all appeals to their common sense and the evidence of their own eyes." Ed Milliband commented; "I'm glad to see that New Labour's policy of betraying everything the old Labour stood for has finally begun to bear fruit. I'm proud to see that, no matter how bad things become, the unions have been emasculated to such an extent that strikes are a thing of the past. Britian must remain competative in world markets as these latest figures demonstrate. In the race to the bottom Britian will not be left behind."