The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 16 September 2011

Boundary Changes - The Truth

As many as 10 million voters may simply not bother to vote under the changes to electoral law proposed by the Tories. The demand that all eligible voters should register is to be dropped which, it is estimated, will lead to many inner-city voters not bothering to register at all. "This is a completely unexpected outcome," one Tory cabinet minister told our reporter. "But you have to look on the bright side. This will prevent a feral underclass, or Labour voters as some people like to call  them, from spoiling our lovely democracy. It will also have the added effect of preventing the border agency finding so many illegal immigrants helping us to claim we have a grip on the problem." A Labour spokesman added; "Many people fear that this will entrench a Tory majority but they shouldn't worry - we did that when we threw out all our principles in the late 1980's and its almost complete now that the LibDems have thrown their lot in with Cameron. All we need is the Green's to ditch some of their more outrageous policies over coal mining, CO2 emissions and killing kittens for sport and we're there." Meanwhile the Parliamentary Commission charged with pulling the wool over the electorate's eyes issued a statement; "We are both shocked and dismayed to discover that we are about to inadvertantly wreck the entire voting system but I'm afraid its too late to do anything about it at this late stage. We've already put our pencil cases away."

No comments:

Post a Comment