The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 31 August 2011

Retraction of Cameron Story

Our reporter in Tottenham would like to make this apology to our readers for his previous story regarding David Cameron. "I'm afraid I made a terrible error in reporting that David Cameron visited Tottenham today. It was, of course, not David Cameron but Nick Clegg. My only defence for this glaring error is that they are very similar in appearance and tend to wear the same suits and old school tie. Under normal circumstances I can tell the difference between one person and another, but, in the case of Cameron and Clegg, that is becoming increasingly difficult. Normally Cameron is accompanied by his wife, while Clegg tends to drag a hapless Vince Cable around with him. Unfortunately Vince Cable was in hospital today after making a sudden and unexpected recovery from the coma he's been in for the last twelve months (see Vince Cable Discovers Bankers Are a Bunch of Crooks)and Clegg had a woman with him this time. (She, apparently, had nothing to do with the Deputy PM and was later found to be carrying a bucket of blue paint for no evident reason.) I hope readers will accept this abject apology and trust that even further cases of mistaken identity will be forgiven in advance."

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